Today I went on a date again with the guy I’m kind of seeing, after about a week of radio silence. The funny thing is, with every other guy I’ve dated, I’ve always been in “rushrush panic” mode. I’ve ALWAYS wanted to dive headfirst into new relationships; spend every waking moment with them, kiss them every day, think about them when I’m not with them. With him, it’s different. I still am curious about him, but I’m not obsessed with thoughts of what we COULD be. Maybe it’s a sign of maturity…or maybe it’s a sign of cynicism. He’s the first guy I’ve dated since being diagnosed with RA. My last serious boyfriend was about two years ago, and I didn’t find out ’til after he and I broke up. When I told him, I didn’t exactly get the response I was expecting. Granted, we had already broken up and he had NO obligation to me whatsoever, but his simple response of “I’m sorry to hear that” didn’t quite work magic on me. How can you love someone and then not care what happens to them? I guess I’m just not that type of person who can forget about people so quickly. Anyway, nothing in between Andy and this current guy has been significant enough for me to want to get serious with, so I never told them about my RA. This guy might be different, though. He’s fun and sweet and just…different than the other guys I’ve dated.
So today I met up with the current guy for an impromptu dinner of sushi at this place by my house. His birthday had just passed, so I thought I’d be clever and bring him a cupcake with a candle as a belated birthday thing. I get to the restaurant and make this BIG production of making him close his eyes, lighting the candle, making him make a wish and he’s impressed that I did that and says we’ll eat the cupcake after dinner. So we get through dinner (tempura lobster!) with interesting, light-hearted conversation and we’re in the parking lot just making small talk at the end of the night. Somehow or other we get on the topic of creeper guys in clubs and how girls don’t like that. And he said something about wishing girls did that to him, and so I imitate a creeper guy attacking from the back, asking him “what could possibly feel good about this?” and in the process, I manage to knock the cupcake out of his hand.
SPLAT!!!
Right onto the ground goes the cupcake I so carefully chose. I am mortified at this moment. I cannot believe that I had made such a huge deal about that cupcake and then managed to knock it right out of his hand. He picks it up off the ground and puts it back in the container; luckily the three inches of frosting broke the four foot fall. I insist that he throw it away and that I would totally understand if he just chucked it in the garbage. He tells me he’s eaten worse, and then proceeds to pick a bit of frosting off the part that didn’t touch the ground. I’m still 100% embarrassed at this point…and then he does what I think is the sweetest thing ever. He leans down and goes “look, this part hasn’t even touched the ground, it’s at the very top,” and takes a little bit of frosting off the top. I think he was trying to save me from embarrassment by acting like it wasn’t anything to sweat over. Whatever the case, I was completely won over. Maybe this guy will be someone special, and maybe I’ll reveal the big RA secret. But it’s still too early to tell.
Keep your fingers crossed for me and cupcake boy! 
